What God Will Do

“What God Will Do” was preached at Lawrence Road Presbyterian Church on Sunday, May 22, 2016. It was my “farewell” sermon after two years of working there as a pastoral intern. Inspirations and themes for this sermon include Scripture, the doctrine of the Trinity, a guided meditation experience, testimony, and the preparation for whatever is next.

—————————————

John 16:12-15

12 “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. 13 When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own, but will speak whatever he hears, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. 14 He will glorify me, because he will take what is mine and declare it to you. 15 All that the Father has is mine. For this reason I said that he will take what is mine and declare it to you.”

—————————————

At our Love of God youth retreat… towards the beginning of the weekend… on the first morning right after breakfast as some of our youth are still in the process of waking up, one of the adults reads a “Walking with Jesus” meditation. During this time we invite the youth and the adults that are listening to find their own private space as they imagine a place and time where they come before Jesus and let him know about anything that is on their mind or their heart. The meditation guides the listeners through a thoughtful, interesting spiritual discipline that actually allows the individual to have their own private conversation with Jesus. This year, my meditation went a little like this.

I found myself in a room. Not too big and not too small. It was a good-sized, average room. And it was white. White everywhere. White walls, a white ceiling, a white floor. And it wasn’t the bad, boring kind of white décor. It was clean and radiant, warm and inviting. There was no visible light source, yet the room was filled with this pure, glowing light. Not one single shade of darkness or shadow made its way across the room. It was all white and light and warm. I found myself in the center of this white room feeling at peace with what was surrounding me.

Also in the center of the room was giant, plump sofa chair. It was a red chair--crimson to be specific. The chair was large enough that I could sprawl my body out and take a nap yet small enough that I could sit up straight and it would be tightly snug against my body. It was perfectly molded to me. It was the type of chair you would find in front of a fireplace in a log cabin or surrounded by cases of books in the middle of magical library. The room was white; the chair felt right, so here I was, still feeling at peace. Even more so, I felt comfortable and relaxed. I was calm.

But this feeling did not last. The meditation guides the listener to imagine Jesus is coming, and I found myself still in the white room sitting on my red chair, but suddenly I saw a figure in the distance. The room doesn’t open or expand, but as part of the white wall itself, a black figure—small, blurry and hazy—started to appear. As I continued to stare, the black figure became larger, clearer, and more profound. I had a sense that it was coming towards me, but I questioned where was it coming from at all. It was just… there. A black figure coming from the white wall while I sit in my red chair…

As the black figure continued to come towards me, the room around me was transformed. The white walls seemed to now shine with a harsh, bright light. The red chair felt like a sharp rock against back. The figure was now in front of me, but I could not allow myself to look up at his face. I could only stare at his feet. I noticed the piercings in his black feet.

The black figure called to me, but I could only continue to stare at his feet. I was uncomfortable and afraid. As he invited me to look unto his face, anxiety came rushing back like a wild flood of water. I refused. I couldn’t. I kept staring down as I said, “I’m not ready… I’m not ready….” He whispered in a voice that I could hear within me and around me, “Be still and know that I am God.” But I just kept repeating over and over, “I’m not ready…. I’m not ready…. I’m not ready….”

Being a pastor was never a part of my plan. Yes, I believe it was always a part of God’s plan, but it was never a part of mine. It wasn’t my childhood dream or aspiration. I didn’t imagine it in middle school or high school. It didn’t even cross my mind until my final year of college. Even then I said, “Being a pastor is maybe something I’m called to… but probably not!”

It was the “maybe” that brought me to seminary and it was the “maybe” that changed my life for the better. But every step of the way, from my youngest of years to my first year of seminary, I resisted God and this plan in every way that I could. Like in my meditation before, I just found myself repeating over and over through the years, “I’m not ready… I’m not ready… I’m not ready…”

Then I found myself at Lawrence Road Presbyterian Church as just another seminarian intern. The past two years have been quite the journey and experience. Now I know Lawrence Road has had many interns over the years, some who continue to worship here, so I figured the congregation must know the feeling of almost what to expect. They expect a seminarian who has much to learn, which they are right to expect as I had much to learn. They notice each seminarian’s unique strengths and weaknesses, and they choose to support the seminarian in both. For me, a weakness was I never smiled during worship during my first few months, and yet the congregation chose to love and support me anyway. Although the congregation at Lawrence Road kind of know what to expect with each new seminarian, the seminarian has no idea what he or she is getting into at Lawrence Road. I had no idea what I was getting into at Lawrence Road.  It came at such a formational, transitional time in my life. It was a time as I began to truly live into my calling to ministry. I was still telling God, “I’m not ready!” but God said, “I will make you ready. Through the people and experiences at Lawrence Road, I will make you ready.”

That is exactly what happened. Through many Sunday School classes to even more Sunday worship services; through weddings and funerals and even an ordination service; through youth group and community dinners; in sickness and in health; in richer and poorer-er-er; I was being made ready to serve Christ and the people of Christ. This was all done in two years… but Lawrence Road has been there for 100 years. In the fall, the congregation of Lawrence Road celebrated their 100^th year! I remember sitting with all of them outside under a large canopy as the Rev. Dr. Nina Reeder preached a sermon titled, “What God Has Done For Us.” At the end of the sermon, Nina read off testimonies that members of the congregation wrote stating exactly what the title suggests, “What God has done for us.” As I heard each of those testimonies, I felt blessed by a church that supports individuals and its community, and I felt blessed by God who supports the church that supports individuals and its community.

But still I had that same feeling of not feeling ready I remember thinking, “God has done so much at just this church alone; how can I do this?” But that brings us to our Gospel lesson from today. A message fitting for Trinity Sunday, as we are all still being made ready for what’s next—whatever “next” is.

In a farewell sermon that lasts almost four chapters in the Gospel of John (John 14-17), Jesus took a moment to declare, “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.” How frustrating that must have been for the disciples! How ambiguous and unclear! At this point, the disciples have been told to be merciful, to be pure in heart, to be the peacemakers. They have been told the most important commandment is to love God and the second is to love their neighbor. They were told that life wouldn’t always been easy for them but that they shouldn’t worry. They were told they MUST take up their cross. And right when they’re on the edge of learning the meaning of life, right as they are about to be handed the key to all light, grace, and truth; Jesus says (in my own paraphrase), “I cannot tell you. I will not tell you. I want to – I really want to, but you are not ready. None of you are ready.”

I believe Christ continues to hang us on this balance of seeing what God has done and knowing what God will do. We suppose it would be easy to see what God has done. This is not always the case. Sure, we can look back on our lives and see where God had intervened. We give thanks for our blessings and we remember our happy times. We recall the moments we rejoiced and we smile at the memories where we gave God our praise. But we also remember our hardships, our time of grief and sorrow. We may ask ourselves, “Where was God there? Why did I need to be sad… or angry… or depressed… or filled with hate? What did God do there?” And if it is hard for us to see all the things that God has done, it must be even more difficult to know what God will do—to believe in what God can do. In our times of trial, what do we believe about the actions of God? Are we ready for what life can throw at us? Are we ready for what God will do for us? Are we ready to walk with Jesus? In a white room or in a garden? Before the banquet feast or in the heavenly kingdom? Are we ready? Christ, as told in this passage, tells us that we are not. My friends, we are not ready.

But maybe that’s the point. That it is okay that we are not ready. That we might not ever be fully, completely, 100% ready. That even on our days when we shout, “But God, I am ready!” and even on the days we when cry, “O Lord, I am not!” that either way God replies, “Be still and know that I am God… Ready or not, I am God… And I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

That’s the message I want to leave you with. Life will take each of us on our own separate journey, and each of you will experience life completely different from the person next to you. Your story will be different than her story, and her story will be different than his story. You will face hardships. You will lose loved ones. Jobs will come and go. You will experience sickness, maybe something small or maybe something that impacts your life forever. Any day you could feel sad and then angry and then frustrated or upset, maybe even depressed or filled with sorrow, hate, and grief. We know life will hit us hard at times, but we also know can never be ready for it.

Because if our God can put Godself upon to cross to die and defeat death in resurrection glory, then we know that our God can turn our greatest sorrows into our greatest joys... but we are not ready for this. In our human brokenness, we have become comfortable with what life is and not with what life could be. Remember, we have been given new life in Christ; a life where something is actively working within us and around us. We have been given a life where even when we experience hardships, we will also experience times that make us smile…. And laugh…. And feel loved and accepted and ready. That’s the Spirit. That’s the power of the Spirit.

Even if we do not understand it, the Spirit is there. Even if we are not ready for it, the Spirit is there. Let me say it again and again: The Spirit is there. The Spirit has been there. The Spirit will be there. For whatever is next and wherever your individual journey takes you, the Spirit will work within you to make you ready. This is what God will do.

Jesus tells us in John 14:6, “I am the way, the truth, and the light.” In our passage today, verse 13 says, “When the Spirit of Truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.”

We will be led into all truth. The Truth of the world and the Truth of heavenly kingdom. Christ the king, the Truth, is already inside you. New, eternal life has been given to you, and love over- and ever-flows towards you. The days when you find yourself separated from anything good, the days when you feel separated from the Truth; that’s when the Spirit will guide you once again. Your Truth is already there, and the Spirit will make it known. The Truth is you are loved beyond measure; the Truth is Christ.

What God has done and what God will do… I give thanks. Father, Spirit, and Son – ready or not – they are at work. One God in three Persons, the Truth and Light of the world. The Trinity – the Way for our journey.

As my time at Lawrence Road Presbyterian came to the end, I found myself back in that white room standing before the black figure once again saying, “I’m not ready… I’m not ready…”

But I could not stay in that red chair forever… and neither can you. The black figure extends his hand, and we must grab it, even if we are not ready, we must grab it. We will be made ready in Christ. It is time to break down the walls. It is time to see what life can be. It is time to walk with Jesus, and it is time to let the Spirit guide us into all Truth—the Truth that is Christ. Thanks be to God. Amen.

—————————————

O God, we give thanks for this day. In our human brokenness, we consistently tell you and show you that we are not ready. We know the great things you have done for us, but sometimes we lose hope in the great things we know you will do. Restore our hope in us, O God. Fill us with your Spirit to guide us into all Truth. Prepare us; make us ready. You are our Truth, O God, and we give you our greatest praise and glory. In Christ’ name we pray. Amen.

—————————————